Pick-up artist and his wing man

Hello All,

I hope all is well. I am in the Nations Capitol enjoying the beautiful weather. I love DC, I really can see myself living here. I had a very funny weekend, not as funny as the previous weekend but funny ha-ha nonetheless. I went to my local sports bar this past weekend to watch the Georgetown v. UNC game. Now, I never have a problem when I go there because they pretty much know me there, until this past weekend. I am sitting at the bar minding my own business watching UNC piss away a very good lead, so I am understandably upset I am in no mood to be trifled with. These two guys come into the bar and sit down right beside; actually they sit on either side of me. The ask me minor questions and I respond politely. The gentleman to my right keeps talking to me during the game and I am clearly not answering him because Georgetown is about to take the lead. Then his friend on the left of me says in this condescending tone "I've never seen you in here before." Ahhhhhhh, that is the word I use when I am annoyed. I look at the friend who is clearly the "pick-up artist" and the other guy must be the "wing man". I realized that I was not going to be able to watch the game in peace and quiet so I would have to be quick on my feet to see the last half. So, the bs conversation continues and I am finding myself getting more annoyed with every stupid question. On the day that I am not looking my best would be the day I get hit on....go figure. Finally, the pick-up artist ask me what I do for a living. Now you all know how I feel about that question. I hate it!!! For a number of reasons I am not going to get into now. OK, back to the subject at hand, so he asks me what do I do. Here was my out: I said well that depends on the day of week and my mood. You see last week I was an interior decorator when the guy at the post office ask me that very same question. I have also been a background singer for Tina Turner, cabinet maker, a cover girl model, music industry talent coordinator, Ocean Drive magazine writer, a local t.v. station television reporter, a law firm associate, a flight attendant, a financial advisor (that was the best), a product placement designer for Saks Fifth Avenue, a sales manager for Donald J. Pliner (shoe designer), but to my friends and family I am a buyer for Federate Department Stores. Now if you really want to know what I do and how great I am at it go to my website and fill out my contact form. Now, if you don't mind I would like to continue watching the game.

I have a very vivid imagination. Take my advice and don't ask such intrusive questions.

Hugs & Kisses,
Cameron

I'm not prejudice; I just don't like you

Hello All,

I hope everyone is doing good. I have had one of those interesting weekends. You know the kind where you need a couple of days off after your weekend. I wish once again I could say that I was out partying and living "la vida loca", but that is so far from the truth. I went home for a wedding, and I outed one of my friends. All I can say is oops I did it again.

I went home to the farm this past weekend, because I have been feeling guilty that I haven't been home since Thanksgiving. My main reason for going home was to see my friend my Mary-Ann get married. Don't worry this wedding was nothing like last years "Purple Haze" wedding. I was seated at the proverbial single peoples table and sitting across from me was this guy who looked familiar but I wasn't so sure. I couldn't help stare at him during dinner and finally I asked him if we knew each other. He replied that we did and I asked him his name. You know no harm, no foul at least I thought so. I was wrong, wrong, wrong!!! Let me tell you what he said to me: "now you want to know my name." Ah yes, because I am driving myself crazy trying to remember your name. He then proceeds to tell me how we know each other. We went to high school together. Lets stop here for a moment; do you know how long it has been since I have been in high school? I am approaching my fifteen year reunion. How could I have possibly remembered his named? Alright, back to my story so we went to high school together...great that still doesn't answer my question of who you are. He tells me that he had a major crush on me and I didn't go out with him. I found that to be funny, because if you had seen me when I was in high school there is no way anybody would have had a crush on me. He told me that he liked my nerdy, bookish look but I never gave him the time of day and then he says it...because he was black. Yes, he said that I never went out with him because he was black. I just laughed, I think that is the funniest thing I have heard all year long. And then it hit me, I remembered his named....Calvin. Now, I am not going to tell you all the mean things Calvin did to me in high school because I am older now and I have had a lot of therapy to put it behind me. But I will tell you what I said to him. I simply smiled at him and said I am not prejudice I just did not like you. I wouldn't have gone out with him if Christ himself said to me go out with Calvin or go to hell; I would have had to pick hell.

As for me outing my friend let me tell you how that happened. I was sitting at home and my mother was talking to me about my circle of friends who are now married. You know how mothers get. I was doing my best to ignore her, but it was unsuccessful. Let me stop here; because my mother could really care less if I am married or not she just wants to plan a wedding to show off to her friends. She is going down this list of people we know and I am telling her that they are divorced, on the verge of divorce, or having an affair. Then she gets to my friend Liz and I blurt out Liz can't get married she is gay. You would have thought I shot the Pope, the silence was creepy. I quickly back tracked and said I don't know if she is gay or not I am assuming she is gay because she is not married. My mother responds with I guess that is what people say about you. Now you see where I get from.

Hugs & Kisses,
Cameron

Taxes, Traveling and Television

Hello All,

I know, I know it has been a very long time since I have made any comments. I hope all is well. I wish I had some very exciting news to share with all of you, but that isn't the case. This time off is exactly what I needed to get my "mojo" back. So, lets see what have I been doing these past three weeks. Well, I have been working on my taxes...no explanation necessary. As I am sure all of you know working on your taxes is like going to the dentist and having a root canal. My biggest fear is that I did my taxes wrong... I am much better at spending money; maybe my new career should be a professional shopper..lol

I know I said that I was going to be doing less traveling, but being at home these past three weeks is just awful. I have never been so board before in my entire life. I watched so much television I am afraid to go out in public now because I don't feel I can have a decent conversation with anyone. Have you seen the crap on T.V.?Who has seen the "Tyra Banks" show? I understand if you don't want to admit to watching the show, because I personally feel I have hit a low point in my life after watching her show. To my defense I only watched her show because Law & Order was a repeat. The topic on Tyra, was women who prostitute themselves; where do I begin. Ok, I do not know where they found these women and I honestly do not think that any self-respecting escort would go on the Tyra Banks, show. One girl was very nervous and didn't want to talk about anything, they had a lady who did domination, and then they had the "ghetto black chick". Do I even need to explain her? She just does it for the money, because she doesn't want a 9 to 5 job. It was painful to watch to say the least. Then just when I thought it couldn't get any worse they profiled a street walker. You heard me correctly a street walker who admitted she has turned tricks for as little as $15.00. I don't care if that was true; I would never admit to something like that and you should have seen Ms.Bank, expression when that girl told her that. I thought Tyra, was going to shake the shit out that girl she didn't even sit on the same side of the couch with her. It was a classic T.V. moment especially when ghetto girl said "Tyra, I would never sell myself for as little as fifteen dollars." Ms. Banks, just gave her a look as if to say who are you kidding. Also, I do not know where Ms. Banks ,get her studio audience from, but they have got to be the best looking studio audience in talk show history. All of those women in the audience looked like models. Even the therapist brought in to "help" the girls was good looking. All I have to say is Oprah Winfrey, watch out!!

Hugs & Kisses,
Cameron